Don't even think of entering if:
- You were shocked by the coarseness and suggestive stage antics of Pat Boone, Bobby Vee and Cliff Richard in the 1950s
- . You thought that Chuck Berry's "My Dingaling" was an anthem to depravity.
- You have ever used the words "Ladies Present!"
- You are "Disgusted" of Tunbridge Wells
- You have featured in any blonde jokes
- You have ever written a letter to the BBC beginning: Why oh why oh why.?........"
- You fail to understand that farting is funny because it is a manifestation of the essential weakness of the human condition which annoys people who like to use terms like "rise above it" without seeing how po-faced (whoops! There's another!) they make themselves appear to others although everyone knows they were in fact the secret dealers of the between-floors death blast that had everyone getting out of the lift at the second floor.
This page is probably also unrewarding if:
1. You think that belching loudly is the height of wit.
2. Your mother still combs your hair.
3. You have to clean out your hamster's cage or else you'll be grounded.
4. You are not yet even wearing a training bra or your voice has not yet broken.(If your voice has broken and you are wearing a training bra, put it back immediately before your sister catches you or sign up for the Bulgarian Womens Olympics Team.